Friday 14 December 2012

Battle Report: The Bridge Over the River Chai - Turn 3

Let's talk numbers:

1 failed animosity test
2 routs
3 explosions
5 charges
8 new arrivals
25 wounds

That's right. I said explosions.

Turn 3 starts like this:


The turn starts like this

Movement Phase

Thantsants and Airbornegrove showed no let up in their savage tendency, charging units at each other left, right and centre. 5 times, to be exact. 

The most interesting set of moves, however? Right in the middle of the board. Having just secured the Percolator and destroyed the War Wain, Rogaine sees red as he commands yet another charge. 

BUT...

...not before he cheerfully tosses the Percolator to Wineghum. Wineghum, enthused by all the excitement and the wholesale slaughter that has so far taken place, can't help himself when presented with the opportunity to take swing at the Gyrocopter as it flies overhead. 

Now in later editions of Warhammer, flyers have this unusual 'hopping' behaviour, where they would drift over intervening soldiers before settling conveniently on the ground in front of the enemy. 

In 3rd edition, flyers are... well, flyers. They can fly. So, although the Gyrocopter has been charged, it is able to raise its altitude to evade the charge. This is not a flee reaction. 

Compulsory movement takes the War Wain horses into the River Chai and one of the fanatics into a bridge. That is into, not onto. Bridge: 1, Fanatic: 0.

And the orc line turns around and faces the enemy again. 

Actions
GM:

WLH
Moved forward 8" @ difficult ground
GF
Suffers animosity @ RLR, wheeled left 3.5"
Airbornegrove:

TT
Flies away @ level +10
KBP1
Holds
I
Holds
S
Holds
LTK
Charged @ MB, moved 4.5"
KBP1
Wheeled 4"
I
Moved forward 1", wheeled right 2"
F
Moved forward 1.5", changed formation to 5 files, wheeled right 1.5"
S
Wheeled right 3", failed 2nd manoeuvre
A2C
Moved forward 1.5" @ difficult ground
MO
Moved forward 3" @ difficult ground
TT
Flyed @ attack level, decel. 2", current speed 14"
Thantsants:

MB
Holds
W
Took Percolator, charged @ TT
SOC
Charged @ KBP1, moved forward 5"
RGH
Charged @ I, wheeled 2" right, moved forward 3", wheeled 2" left (2nd manoeuvre), moved forward 4"
K3C
Charged @ S, wheeled within 4" of enemy, lost bonus
F1
Hit bridge and died
F2
Moved 10" @ left bridge
WoP
Moved forward 2.5" @ difficult ground
SBB
Turned right, moved forward 2", turned left (2nd manoeuvre), moved forward 1.5"
CGC
Turned around, wheeled right 1" (2nd manoeuvre), halts within 1" of SBB
KYP
Wheeled left 3.5"
RLR
Turned around
S
Moved forward 4"



***

Rogaine pointed at Wineghum. "You!"

Wineghum looked hopefully over his shoulder before realising there was no one behind him. "M-me?" he stammered.

"Yeah. You! Hold this, okay?" Rogaine tossed the little box to Wineghum. "I got stuff to do."

Wineghum watched as Rogaine grabbed his boar by its fur and climbed onto its back.

"What is it?"

Rogaine fixed the goblin with a malevolent stare. "It's mine, is what it is. You keep that in mind, hear?"

Before he could respond, Rogaine goaded the wild pig in the direction of his unit, barking orders at them as he led the charge towards the dwarves.

Looking left and right to see if anyone heard or saw anything, Wineghum determined it was safe to hold the little box next to his head and rattle it.

"Oooooh," he grinned...

***

Shooting Phase

BOOM!

Er....I mean, there are lots of explosions, as mentioned earlier. Sorry. I was just getting excited, is all. 

Explosion 1: Deep within the mystic mist, the dwarves manning (dwarfing?) the red hot cannon throw caution to the wind and light the fuse. The cannon throws the dwarves to the wind as it explodes in an almighty ball of flame, the resulting mix of smoke, flame and mist appearing to onlookers as a raging upside down thunder cloud, as bits of dwarves and cannon are hurled into the air. 

Explosion 2: Carrying on with the dwarves, it seems our diminutive adventurers like to equip their aeronaughts with bombs. As you can tell, health and safety hasn't been invented yet. This means that Wineghum, having so gamely charged at the Gyrocopter now finds himself directly under the thing and its lunatic pilot...

Both stone throwers fail to find targets. 

Various archers are able to score some wounds on various other targets - including an astonishing shot from the mercenaries that hits the hapless Wineghum again!

Specific archers (that is, Rogaine's Lamentable Regiment of Boworcs) take umbrage at the frankly dishonourable business of lobbing bombs at their wizard from on high and take aim at the Gyrocopter. Despite the downdraft, the wooden frame and Torin's shiny metal helmet, an unknown orc is able to land a hit. 

Which takes us to Explosion 3:

Being ever conscious of comedic tropes, Torin's last act saves us all from horrendous Black Orc Down puns by his skilfully avoiding the Black Orcs and making his final manoeuvre a controlled dive into the recently raised Undead.

Actions
GM:

TT
Crashed @ S, wounded 5
Airbornegrove:

A1C
Shot @ RLR, wounded 1
MF
Shot @ W (wizard), wounded 1
TT
Dropped bomb @ W (spider), wounded 1
C
Blows up, wounded 2
BCT
Lost 100 points, 300 points remaining
BT
Shot @ S deviated @ RGH, wounded 0
E
Shot @ W deviated, missed
Thantsants:

RLR
Shot @ TT (pilot), wounded 1
SC
Shot @ TT, missed
SQC
Shot @ F, wounded 1
MM
Shot @ MF deviated, missed



***

"I dunno, guys. I think it needs to cool down," Ethan Ohl said, frowning at the steam rising from the cannon.

"Don't be daft! We've got soldiers to support out there! Lets get her primed!" barked Benn Zheen.

"What? You can't even see what you're shooting at!" Ethan swirled his hand in the strange mist that had risen so quickly from the river.

"Don't matter - I can hear 'em. And I can smell 'em! Prime the cannon!"

"Yeah yeah! Let's shoot it again!" Dii Zhil shrieked in delight. "Bang bang! Haha!"

Benn and Ethan looked at the ugly dwarf as he popped up on the other side of the cannon.

Dii pointed his fingers like guns in the direction of the orcs. "Pow pow!" He winked at the other two dwarves.

Benn's eyes met Ethan's. "I thought you were watching him?"

"Yeah? And I thought you were watching him!"

"Why the hell would I be watching him? I was doing the range calculations!"

"Um...maybe because the powder's on your side?" Ethan jabbed his finger at the open barrel of black powder.

Benn sighed. "Dii? Dii?" 

Dii finished ramming the ball down the barrel before looking up at Benn. "Yes?"

"Have you been... you know, eating the powder again?"

Dii grinned, his teeth and gums as black as soot. "No?"

"We've spoken about this before Dii. You can't eat the powder, okay? Not anymore. Understand?"

"Haha!" cackled Dii. "Sure, fine. Don't eat the powder. Got it, chief!" The dwarf saluted.

Benn turned to Ethan. "I worry about him, you know. I mean, should his eyes be looking in different directions like that?"

Ethan shook his head. "I don't think so. Maybe we should put that lid back on the barrel, huh?"

"Forget that - the cannon's ready - prepare to fire!"

"Haha! Yeah! Fire! Fire! Bang! Haha!" Dii shrilled as he danced towards the fuse.

"I still don't think that's a good idea."

"Fine!" Benn growled. "Then piss off and stand over there!"

"Fine! I bloody well will!"

Dii watched as Ethan wandered off into the mist. "Can I? Can I?" he asked, twisting his head as he leered at the torch in his hand.

"FIRE!" Benn barked.

***

"Cor! Look at that!"

Rogaine's Lamentable Regiment of Boworcs followed Sawdust's finger as he pointed at the double flash in the mist across the river.

A tiny figure soared into the air, its arms windmilling furiously. The barest echo of a shriek drifted across the valley as the explosion reverberated of the cliff walls.

"Cor!" the unit said in unison, as their gaze followed the figure as it plopped into the river, followed by a wheel and some other bits of wood and metal.

***

Combat Phase

Combat is brutal. 

Master B'tor proves his superiority to his opposite number by stabbing, beating, whipping, biting, kicking and punching him until he dies. 

Seaman Sprayes, so far out of his own depth that we can no longer measure it with any scientific certainty, loses. Fortunately for him, he doesn't die, he's just a little further out of his depth. 

The enraged goblins, facing their hated foes, take a solid pounding. But, their hatred sees them through and they are able to win combat two rounds in a row! Unfortunately, Mill Kibarkid, the goblin champion, is unable to see this desperate battle, being dead as he now is. 

Front and centre, and full of fantasy drama - Rogaine and his Grand Hare Line are unable to capitalise on their thunderous charge, crunching into an immovable wall of dwarves. In the wild combat that ensues, the dwarven hero Snorri Oneye gives his life to defend his unit, family, hold and the honour of Lady Luuhs. The redoubtable dwarves triumph in the end, sending Rogaine and his boar boys haring into the distance. 

Actions

LTK vs MB
Round 1

Modifiers
LTK
charged
MB
hatred
Attacks
A1 I10
LTK <- MB
A2 I9
LTK <- MB
A1 I8
LTK -> MB
A3 I8
LTK <- MB (1W)
A2 I7
LTK -> MB
A4 I7
LTK <- MB
A3 I6
LTK -> MB
A1 I3
LTK's mount -> MB
A1 I1
LTK <- MB's mount
A2 I1
LTK <- MB's mount
Results
LTK
+1 (charged) = 1
MB
+1 (wounds) = 1
Round 2

Modifiers
LTK
none
MB
hatred
Attacks
A1 I9
LTK <- MB
A2 I8
LTK <- MB (1W)
A1 I8
LTK -> MB
A3 I7
LTK <- MB
A2 I7
LTK -> MB
A4 I6
LTK <- MB
A3 I6
LTK -> MB
A1 I3
LTK's mount -> MB
A1 I1
LTK <- MB's mount
A2 I1
LTK <- MB's mount
Results
LTK
0
MB
+1 (wounds) = 1
Free Hack 1
A1 I9
LTK <- MB
A2 I8
LTK <- MB
A3 I7
LTK <- MB (1W)
SOC vs KBP1
Round 1

Modifiers
SOC
charged, hatred
KBP1
none
Attacks
A1 I7
Seaman Sprayes -> WE2
A2 I6
Seaman Sprayes -> WE3
A1 I6
Seaman Sprayes <- WE2
A1 I6
Seaman Sprayes <- WE3
Results
SOC
+1 (charged) = 1
KBP1
+1 (ranks) = 1
Round 2

Modifiers
SOC
hatred
KBP1
none
Attacks
A1 I7
Seaman Sprayes -> WE2
A2 I6
Seaman Sprayes -> WE3
A1 I6
Seaman Sprayes <- WE2
A1 I6
Seaman Sprayes <- WE3
Results
SOC
0
KBP1
+1 (ranks) = 1
RGH vs I
Round 1

Modifiers
RGH
charged
I
hatred
Attacks
A1 I5
Rogaine -> Snorri Oneye
A2 I4
Rogaine -> Snorri Oneye
A3 I3
Rogaine -> Snorri Oneye (1W)
A4 I2
Rogaine -> Dwarf2
A1 I3
Rogaine's mount -> Dwarf2
A1 I3
Orc1 -> Dwarf3
A1 I3
Orc1's mount -> Dwarf3
A1 I2
Orc1 <- Dwarf2
A1 I2
Orc1 <- Dwarf3
Results
RGH
+1 (charged) +1 (ranks) +1 (wounds) = 3
I
+1 (standard) +1 (war banner) +1 (ranks) = 3
Round 2

Modifiers
RGH
none
I
hatred
Attacks
A1 I5
Rogaine -> Dwarf1
A2 I4
Rogaine -> Dwarf1
A3 I3
Rogaine -> Dwarf2
A4 I2
Rogaine -> Dwarf2 (1W)
A1 I3
Orc1's mount -> Dwarf3
A1 I2
Rogaine <- Dwarf1
A1 I2
Orc1 <- Dwarf3 (1W)
Results
RGH
+1 (wounds) = 1
I
+1 (standard) +1 (war banner) +1 (ranks) +1 (wounds) = 4
Free Hack 1
A1 I2
Rogaine <- Dwarf1
A1 I2
Rogaine <- Dwarf2
A3 I7
Orc1 <- Dwarf3
Free Hack 2
A1 I2
Rogaine <- Dwarf1 (1W)
A1 I2
Rogaine <- Dwarf2
A3 I7
Orc1 <- Dwarf3
K3C vs S
Round 1

Modifiers
K3C
charged, hatred
S
hatred
Attacks
A1 I4
Mill Kibarkid -> Borri Forkbeard
A2 I3
Mill Kibarkid -> Borri Forkbeard
A1 I3
Mill Kibarkid <- Borri Forkbeard
A3 I2
Mill Kibarkid -> Borri Forkbeard (1W)
A2 I2
Mill Kibarkid <- Borri Forkbeard (1W)
A3 I1
Mill Kibarkid <- Borri Forkbeard (1W)
A1 I2
Goblin2 -> Dwarf1
A1 I2
Goblin6 -> Dwarf1
A1 I1
Goblin2 <- Dwarf1 (1W)
Results
K3C
+2 (ranks) +1 (standard) +1 (wounds) = 4
S
+3 (wounds) = 3
Round 2

Modifiers
K3C
follow-up, hatred
S
hatred
Attacks
A1 I4
Mill Kibarkid -> Borri Forkbeard
A2 I3
Mill Kibarkid -> Borri Forkbeard
A1 I3
Mill Kibarkid <- Borri Forkbeard
A3 I2
Mill Kibarkid -> Borri Forkbeard
A2 I2
Mill Kibarkid <- Borri Forkbeard (1W)
A1 I2
Goblin2 -> Dwarf1
A1 I2
Goblin6 -> Dwarf1
A1 I1
Goblin2 <- Dwarf1
Results
K3C
+1 (follow-up) +2 (ranks) +1 (standard) = 4
S
+1 (wounds) = 1



***

Snorri Oneye glared at the charging pig riders. "Hold!" he grunted at the Steelaxes. As one, the dwarves set their shields forward, leaning into them, ready for the impact.

The boars squealed as they crashed into the dwarves. Dwarves and orcs cried out as steel found flesh - the enraged pigs indiscriminately gouging anything they could see.

Much to Rogaine's surprise, the dwarves held. Having nowhere to go, the boars had no choice but to halt, milling around in confusion. The orcs, completely unaware of the risk, continued hacking and slashing, but their wild blows were no match for the patient skill of the dwarves.

Kicking his boar hard, he forced the creature into the fray. In the emerging fracas, there stood a dwarf before him.

Snorri drew a finger across his throat as he lunged at the giant orc.

Rogaine and Snorri traded blows, sparks flying as their blades clashed.

He knows what he's on about, thought Snorri as he ducked just in time. It was his undoing.

The wily old orc had seen this many times with the dwarves. All too often, they would rely on their diminutive stature to defend themselves. If you could force one to duck, and you rode a boar...

...You could jump the boar over them and take their head off from behind. Which is exactly what Rogaine did. Having landed on the other side of the still-toppling headless dwarf, he turned to display his victory to the other orcs.

Except the cowardly shits were running away.

What?

Something thumped against his back. It took a little while for his nerves to tell him it was an axe, but when they did, he bawled out in rage.

"Come back ya bastards!"

He jumped the pig out of the dwarf throng - so quickly that the axe was yanked out of the hands of a very surprised dwarf.

Rogaine galloped after the howling Hare Line.

"I'll kill every one of you sons'a'bitches! You better not come back! Do what yer told!!"

***

Reserves Phase


The orc left mobilises and drives towards the east bridge. The Firehammers cross the bridge, but find a vacuum in the wake of the Ironaxes and their routing of the orcs.

Actions
Airbornegrove:

F
Moved forward 3"
Thantsants:

SBB
Moved forward 3.5"
KYP
Moved forward 2" @ difficult ground
CGC
Moved forward 3, halts within 1" of RLR



Magic Phase

Wineghum, sensing the sudden need for a rearguard for the boar riders, raises more skeletons - creating a second unit of eight.
Actions
Thantsants:

W
Summoned 8 skeletons, 18 MP remaining



***


"Cor! Look at that!" 

Wineghum shook his head as he watched the bloody orcs cheering at the downing of the dwarf flying machine. The thing had slammed into his recently raised undead, exploding spectacularly. It served the arse of a pilot right - of course it did. But couldn't the orcs have shot him somewhere else? Undead don't bloody grow on trees, do they?

He looked at his limping spider. Not only had dwarf machine managed to destroy his undead, but the thing had blown a leg clean off the spider. Seven legged spiders weren't outside his realm of experience, but the fact that the stupid creature had decided to play dead when it happened had really damaged his pride. It was one thing to be assaulted by a flying dwarf with bombs. It was another thing altogether to have one's spider curl up into a ball and roll onto its back with one still on it. 

Still, one wouldn't last long as a wizard in the goblin walk of life if one allowed little set backs like that to get one down. 

Wineghum shrugged and raised some more undead. 


***
Battle Navigator

Turn 3 (you are here)

4 comments:

  1. Stirring stuff as ever sir!

    I now have a favourite (if short lived) fantasy character in the manic form of Dii Zhil.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks chaps - good to know it landed well.

    Poor Dii Zhil - he'd make a cracking chaos dwarf too...hmmm...

    ReplyDelete
  3. That was an absolutely bonkers turn. Well done!!!

    ReplyDelete