Monday, 4 March 2013

Battle Report: The Bridge Over the River Chai - Turn 7

Well. Turn 7. I got there in the end.

And what an interesting turn it is. In the last turn, it was still possible to discern lines - the nominal facing off of opposing force. That goes away in Turn 7. Because everyone runs away. Now its just skirmishing with units.

Oh, and the GM gets sneaky. Control of Master B'tor is 'revoked' and passes to the GM (Dreamfish). If he gets into command range of his units, Thantsants could lose control of the whole lot...

The turn starts like this

Movement Phase

Of course, to initiate lots of running away, one must initiate running toward. This the contestants do with great gusto, launching five charges between them. By the same toke, troops not specifically interested in the outcome of events (that being most of the orcs) flee. Rogaine loses Chamallow's Goblin Command and Suderfed's Big Boys Brigade to the table edge as they scream into the distance.

Rogaine watches as Meedy Ochre, deeming his task to be done, lopes off to the west in search of alcohol and Nico, who he hasn't seen for a little while now.

Kibarkid's Lot and the Lamentable Boworcs have also had enough, despite their heroic efforts, and flee from the Steelaxes - freeing them up to attempt a charge on the Gaversconne's Fireguts. Alas for stumpy legs - the exhausted dwarves surrender the greenskin target to the Ironaxes, who have the same idea - but have the drive, commitment and the requisite 6" to connect with their foe.

In a comedic slapfest, two units of crossbow... er... beings have at one another. Although the dwarves fail to connect, the obliging elves step up, so happily, they meet in the middle.
Actions
GM:

MB
Moved 7" @ SQC
Airbornegrove:

I
Charged @ GF, moved forward 6"
S
Charged @ GF, wheeled left 1.5", moved forward 4.5", unformed, holds
A2C
Charged @ SQC, wheeled left 1", moved forward 5", unformed, holds
MO
Routed off the table
F
Moved forward 1.5" @ half movement
Thantsants:

GF
Holds
WoP
Charged @ I, moved forward 8.5", wheeled left 1.5", unformed
SQC
Charged @ A2C, wheeled right 3.5", moved forward 0.5", unformed
RLR
Routed forward 8"
K3C
Routed forward 7"
SBB
Routed off the table
CGC
Routed off the table
RGH
Reformed




Shooting Phase

Now, when most of your shooters are involved in hand to hand combat, the shooting phase tends towards the dull.

But! Angry dwarves, having spent most of their turns lost in the mist with no idea of what's going on around them score a direct hit!

Perhaps a scoreline would help to explain the situation:

Earthquaker: 1
Man-mangler: 0

Not only do the dwarves succeed in destroying the orc warmachine, they bolt thrower also kills two of Rogaine's finest! And some goblins get shot. Meh.

Actions
Airbornegrove:

A1C
Shot @ K3C, wounded 2
BT
Shot @ RGH, wounded 2
E
Shot @ RGH deviated @ MM, destroyed MM and wounded 1
Thantsants:

SC
Shot @ S, missed



***


"Lemme guess - a rock fell outta the sky and smashed the arm, right?"

The other orcs blinked at Pannerdol. Nayz slowly pointed to the rock he was balancing on his shoulder. He had been about to lower it into the basket. His mouth opened and closed. "But..."

Pannerdol held a finger to Nayz' lips "Shht! Don't say nuffink! Whaddaya think - I'm some kinda idiot? I goes for a piss for thirty seconds and when I come back, yoose lots gone and broken Man Mangler! Then you- " he poked Nayz in the chest, "picks up a rock and act like nothin's happened! You lot make me sick!" Pannerdol's shrieked the last word at such a high pitch that his voice faltered. 

Nayz just stood blinking. "But..."

"Aww boss!" Ibupp whined. "E's fer real! A stone dropped from the sky and smashed Man Manger! Honest!"

Pannerdol raised his eyebrows. "...and landed in right in the basket, just how we'd put a rock there?"

"Yeah! Now yer gettin' it!"

Pannerdol slapped Ibupp across the face. 

"Rocks."
-Slap- 
"Don't." 
-Slap- 
"Drop."
-Slap-
"From."
-Slap-
"The."
-Slap-
"Sky."
-Slap- 
"Okay?" Pannerdol leaned in, thrusting his face into Ibupp's smarting face. 

Both Nayz and Ibupp blinked. "But..." they said in unison. 

"So's I don't care which of you knob heads broke Man Mangler. Pack yer stuff - we're leav- Hey! Who killed Bennilinn?"

Ibupp pointed at the rock, now lying in the split remains of the stone throwers throwing arm. 

Pannerdol rolled his eyes and flung his hands wide. "Of course! It was the magic rock, weren't it! Mebbe we should all jes' worship it before 'e calls 'is mates and more rocks rain from the sky, eh?" He aimed a wild kick at Ibupp. "Pack it up! We're leaving!"


***

Combat Phase

Right, its been so long that I looked at turn 6, I can't even remember if this has happened before. But its worth knowing, so I'll mention it here. 

In 3rd edition, when you charge a unit and you must wheel more than 22.5 degrees in order to connect, your unit becomes unformed. That means that if you are pushed back in combat, you will automatically rout. 

Worth noting, because that happens twice here. 

After some furious swinging, chopping and hacking, the crossbowelves see off the crossbowdwarves, who are unformed and thus flee back to the freezing River Chai. The elves, realising that hitting things for a living is much more dangerous than shooting things for a living, decide to restrain from pursuing the dwarves, choosing to reform instead. 

The witch elves, flexing the supremely valuable tactical advantage of attacking an enemy in the rear, pretty much bounce like a ball, fleeing in exactly the same direction they came from, after the Ironaxes hand their (the dark elves, that is) arses to them. The big'uns also take delivery of their arses, fleeing in the opposite direction, leaving the bewildered and bloody dwarves stranded in the middle. 

Actions

SQC vs A2C
Round 1

Modifiers
SQC
unformed
A2C
unformed
Attacks
A1 I6
DE1 -> Dwarf3
A1 I6
DE2 (std) -> Dwarf2
A1 I6
DE3 -> Dwarf1
A1 I2
DE3 <- Dwarf1
A1 I2
DE2 (std) <- Dwarf2
A1 I2
DE2 (std) <- Dwarf3
A1 I2
DE1 <- Dwarf4
Results
SQC
+1 (standard) +1 (ranks) = 2
A2C
+1 (ranks) = 1
Free Hack 1
A1 I6
DE1 -> Dwarf3 (1W)
A1 I6
DE2 (std) -> Dwarf2
A1 I6
DE3 -> Dwarf1
I vs GF, WoP
Round 1

Modifiers
I
charged
GF
none
WoP
unformed
Attacks
A1 I6
Dwarf5 <- WE1
A1 I6
Dwarf6 <- WE2
A1 I5
Dwarf5 <- WE1
A1 I5
Dwarf6 <- WE2
A1 I2
Dwarf5 -> WE1
A1 I2
Dwarf6 -> WE2 (1W)
A1 I2
Dwarf1 -> Orc1
A1 I2
Dwarf2 -> Orc1
A1 I1
Dwarf1 <- Orc1
Results
I
+1 (standard) +1 (charged) +1 (wounds) = 3
GF, WoP
+1 (standard) = 1
Free Hack 1
A1 I2
Dwarf5 -> WE1 (1W)
A1 I2
Dwarf6 -> WE2 (1W)
Round 2

Modifiers
I
follow-up
GF
none
Attacks
A1 I2
Dwarf1 -> Gaversconne (1W)
A1 I2
Dwarf1 <- Gaversconne
A2 I1
Dwarf1 <- Gaversconne
A3 I1
Dwarf1 <- Gaversconne
A1 I2
Dwarf2 -> Orc2 (std)
A1 I1
Dwarf2 <- Orc2 (std)
A1 I2
Dwarf3 (std) -> Orc1 (1W)
A1 I2
Dwarf5 -> Orc5 (1W)
Results
I
+1 (standard) +1 (war banner) +1 (follow-up) +3 (wounds) = 6
GF
+1 (standard) = 1
Free Hack 1
A1 I2
Dwarf1 -> Gaversconne
A1 I2
Dwarf2 -> Orc2 (std) (1W)
A1 I2
Dwarf3 (std) -> Orc1
A1 I2
Dwarf4 -> Orc1
A1 I2
Dwarf5 -> Orc5




Reserves Phase


And so, in the beginning of the turn, there were armies. Now, there are just teams. Of most interesting in this otherwise mediocre reserves phase is the sudden interest in Wineghum by both Master B'tor and Rogaine.

Two facts worth noting at this point:


  1. Wineghum currently holds the Percolator. 
  2. Master B'tor is controlled by the GM now. 


Wineghum feels a shiver down his back...

Actions
GM:

MB
Moved 7" @ hill
SQC
Turned left, changed formation to 4 files (2nd manoeuvre), moved forward 4"
Airbornegrove:

I
Turned around
Thantsants:

RGH
Wheeled right 0.5", moved forward 5.5"



***

Rogaine sighed. They just don't make orcs like they used to. He understood that the other orcs had run - they were just orcs. But watching Gaversconne lead the three surviving black orcs in an all out rout depressed him. Sure, Gaversconne was an unrivalled plank, but he was still a black orc. Actually, if he was running, he probably wasn't. Half-orc pussy!

All the more depressing was that it looked like it would come down to him to sort it all out again. As usual.

"Right boys, its been a good scrap fer me. Coulda been better. Not so much for you lot, though. We'd have been all over this field if not for you lot running off like that." He waved a hand at the two orcs lying on the floor, connected as they were by a giant bolt. One was still twitching. "That's what running away gets you. As it stands, we're gonna have to go. But not before I get my Percolator."

"Let me tell you how its gonna be," he growled at the remaining two. "We're gonna get Percolator off Wineghum, right? If I gets there and look around me and you ain't right here next to me," - the imaginary spot he pointed at seemed very close to him - "I'm gonna find you. Then I'm gonna pull the bulgy bit outta yer throat. Then I'll take yer nuts in my fist and ram them so far up yer arses that they'll pop out where the bulgy bit was. Then I'll make yer swallow 'em through yer mouths. By doing that, I'll have made a noose around yer jaws, which I'll use to drag you sons-of-bitches all the way back to camp, where I'll skin what's left and stew the lot. Are we clear?"

The others swallowed, emphasising the sudden value of the bulgy bits in their throats. A nervous nod followed.

"Good. Move out!"

***

Magic Phase


You might remember this scene from the Wyemm Seeyay - a poor wizard, under pressure, fails their intelligence test because they don't many magic points. Poor Wineghum, suddenly feeling very small as he watches the Witch Elves flee past his position, loses concentration and fails to cast anything useful.

Actions
Thantsants:

W
Failed to cast, 5 MP remaining



4 comments:

  1. Gaj, this series has to be nominated for the single greatest Oldhammer Revival battle miniseries. And you gave the line that explains why Oldhammer is win for me:

    "And so, in the beginning of the turn, there were armies. Now, there are just teams."

    Warhammer is not about big units suffering one defeat and disappearing from the table. It's about gritty fighting, back and forth, fleeing and coming back and smashing skulls until the last man (or orc, or Zoat, or Fimir!). Very cool and very inspiring stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is the turn my army started to disappear....argh!!!! That cursed Wineghum and Master B'tor!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks, Mr Evan - sorry for taking so long to get back to this...parenthood.

    @airbornegrove - yes - in 8th edition, your dwarves would have been safe and happy. Oh well...

    ReplyDelete